platform 3, 6th june afternoon, kharghar rly stn.

It was a rainy, windy, and a wet afternoon, I had just finished my visits to a couple of clients in taloja MIDC, and my colleague dropped me at kharghar stn, from where I planned to reach vile parle, via vadala. At 4 pm, it was all quiet on the platform no 3, I made myself comfortable on the bench, and looked around to see barely 30 odd passengers, lazily waiting for the next local from panvel.

2 stray dogs, one brown in color, and another 3 legged friend of his, a black one, lolled around, anxiously trying to swap at a lone fly that seemed to disturb their tranquility. I enjoyed watching them, as they both took turns trying to bite in the air, as the fly dodged their mouths and managed to escape everytime. Smart fly, I said to myself! Just then, out of nowhere, came a blue colored polythene bag, one of those thin and flimsy ones, floating gently, along with the breeze, and landed quite close to where the dogs were.

The brown dog was up in a jiffy, pounced on the empty bag, and instantly started to play with it. Soon blacky joined too, hobbling on 3 legs, yet was every bit active, trying to tear at the bag. In no time they had the bag into 2 pieces, each one having his own toy to play around. For the next 5 minutes the dogs merrily played with the piece of plastic, acting as if it was a prey, trying to further tear it off into more pieces, but found it difficult to do so. After another few moments, they seemed to get bored of this lightweight toy, and just gave up playing with those 2 pieces, and stopped as abruptly as they had started.

Dogs get bored of things as fast as us humans, I said to myself…. Just then, on platform no 2, a local gently rolled in, from CST, going towards panvel. As if on cue, there was another fresh gust of wind, lifting one of the plastic pieces, the piece went up, floated around for a few moments, and gently landed on the tracks, a few meters from the approaching train. Both the dogs got up in a flash, on an instinct, and jumped onto the tracks, after the torn bag.

The driver of the local must have noticed this, dogs jumping in front of his train, he sounded the loud horn, but he was late. Both dogs came under the train, and within seconds the train halted for its usual 24 second or so halt. And then a gut wrenching howling suddenly filled the air. Both dogs wailed like mad, it was unbearable to listen to those desperate, and helpless howls, painfully long. I rushed to near the train, as so did the other passengers, helplessly looking a each other, knowing there was no way the canines could be saved now.

And the horrifying wails grew louder and louder, and it seemed as if time had stopped still, people looked helpless and sad, I was shocked beyond words, I had never heard such soul shatteting wailing from 2 dying animals, it was simply impossible to bear. Within seconds, two playful animals were dying the most terrifying and painful death, and we all were mute spectators. I felt miserable….this was unfair! Just then, the train started, and for the next few seconds, the wailing increased to a very high pitch, and then subsided as suddenly as it had begun.

As the train left kharghar stn, once again, there was complete silence, the mangled bodies of those 2 dogs lying in tatters, all red. I felt a lump in my stomach, and for the first time in my life I said something nasty to GOD, for being so so so cruel. I knew it was of no use.

Strange were the ways of nature, that kills a dog in such bizarre manner, and then we humans silently call it a dog’s death.

english is a phunny language....fun intended!!!

Why only english, all languages are funny at times. It is like this, if people are not fluent in a certain language, they can unknowingly create laughter, whenever they communicate in that particular language. And when people are fluent in a certain language, they too can create laughter sometimes, with a slip or two. A friend of mine always used to narrate this. Their PT teacher once was heard saying this to all the students, who were loitering on the ground rather aimlessly. He said to them “students, please don’t just rotate here and there. If you have nothing to do, then go and understand the tree” its amazing really, too what levels one can stretch a language.

I had a room mate in Kuwait, and we often used to discuss politics, which was his favourite subject. Many a times, while we were engrossed in a sort of heated discussion, he would say this to me , getting very excited. “you will see anand, one day history will repeat himself”. I tried telling him in a very subtle manner so as to not offend him that history would normally repeat “itself” and not “himself”. But he always loved to personify history.

This guy was a strong right wing person, and for some reasons, didn’t like rajiv Gandhi at all. Once he told me “ I am really surprised why indira Gandhi wants her son rajiv to join politics. Rajiv is a pilot, and as far as politics is concerned, he has a complete lack of ignorance on the subject!!!” it took me a few seconds to figure out what he meant.

Or take this story, I am sure this is made up. A teacher in our school, once had a visitor, who was standing just outside his office. This teacher then said to him from his chair, loudly, “ please income, why are you outstanding?” I was into splits when I first heard this. Or this one about a girl who wanted to attend her friends’ “welding” (read wedding). Such distortions in the English language, or just plain lack of English have helped a lot in creating jokes too, the most famous one being……upon hearing this announcement on bandra railway station “ the fast local to churchgate is about to arrive on platform no 1”, a guy standing on the platform, at once jumped on the rail tracks. He thought the train was coming on the platform!!

at times, just one spelling mistake can make things hilarious. once my wife got a recipe for kachoris from somewhere. this is how the recipe went........" once the stuffing mixture is ready, start feeling the kachoris!!!

someone in our hometown once remarked that he didnt like to watch english movies, as they didnt have any interviews!!!

The great Big B did create a laugh or two with his famous dialogue “english is a phunny language….” in the movie namak halaal!